What I Hope My Daughter Learns About Health, Strength & Her Body

One of my favorite parts of pregnancy so far has been how much it has encouraged me to think more intentionally about the kind of home we want to create for our daughter.

I know we're still a few months away from meeting her, and quite a while away from her moving her own body, eating anything other than breastmilk, or understanding the conversations happening around her.

But being a mom is the job I have always longed for, and I am approaching every step of it with so much intentionality.

I've been thinking about the things I hope we make normal for her.

The way we talk to ourselves.
The way we move our bodies.
The way we eat.
The way we rest.
The way we respond to stress, celebrate wins, and navigate hard days.

Long before our children understand what we're telling them about health, they're watching how we live it.

And as I prepare to raise a daughter, I've found myself thinking more and more about the messages I hope she hears at home.

A Different Definition of Health for Our Daughters

For so many women, health and fitness have become tangled up with being smaller.

Exercise became about burning calories or changing the way our bodies looked. Food became something to control. Discipline became synonymous with restriction. And for a long time, the picture of a "healthy" woman was often someone small, thin, and careful not to become too muscular.

Even the way women have been encouraged to move has often reflected that.

Keep it light. Keep it gentle. Tone, don't build. Burn calories, but don't push too hard.

I don't want that to be our daughter's definition of health.

I don't want her to believe the goal of taking care of her body is to make it smaller. Instead, I want her to know what it feels like to be strong.

To lift something heavy. To run fast. To climb, swim, jump, carry, play, and use her body without first wondering what it looks like while she's doing it.

I want her to eat enough to fuel the life she's living. I want her to understand that muscle is something worth building, food is something her body needs, and strength is something to be proud of.

I want her idea of health to be how well she can care for herself and how fully she can live.

I Want Her to See Strength as Beautiful

Not because of how a strong body looks, but because of what it allows us to do.

I want her to see us lift weights, go for walks, run, swim, play, and move because taking care of our bodies allows us to participate fully in our lives.

I hope exercise is never something she associates with earning her food, shrinking her body, or punishing herself for what she ate.

I want movement to feel like a privilege. Something we get to do.

I want her to grow up knowing that strength isn't at odds with femininity. Being capable, building muscle, working hard, and challenging yourself are all things worth celebrating.

I want fitness to add to her life, not become something that consumes it.

I Want Her to Have a Healthy Relationship With Food

I want our table to be a place where nourishing food is the norm, meals are shared as a family, and special foods have their place too.

I want her to understand that food gives us energy to think, grow, train, work, play, and live.

I don't want her to grow up watching me constantly diet, skip meals, fear certain foods, or feel guilty for eating enough.

I don't want her to hear women bond over how little they ate that day or how they need to "work off" dinner tomorrow.

I want her to see women who nourish themselves.

Women who understand that eating well isn't about eating as little as possible. It's about giving our bodies what they need while still leaving room for birthday cake, family dinners, vacations, traditions, and the foods that simply bring us joy.

Food can nourish our bodies and bring people together. I hope she grows up knowing there is room for both.

I Want Her to Hear Me Speak About Myself With Kindness

This one has become especially personal during pregnancy.

If I'm being completely transparent, pregnancy has been harder for me mentally than I expected. This is a season I have longed for and am incredibly thankful to be living, but I don't love gaining weight, my clothes not fitting, or things that used to feel easy suddenly feeling hard.

Some days I don't feel like myself, and I've caught myself saying those things out loud.

Knowing there will soon be a little girl listening has made me hyperaware of it.

I don't want criticizing our bodies to become normal in our home or for her to grow up believing it's just a "thing girls do."

I know I can't promise that I'll never have an insecure thought again. That's not realistic, nor is that what I want to teach her.

Instead, I want to show her that we can experience insecurity without allowing it to determine how we treat or speak about our bodies.

Pregnancy has been an incredible opportunity to practice that.

My body looks and performs differently right now, but it's also growing our daughter.

What it can do has never felt more important than what it looks like.

I Want Her to See Us Do Hard Things

Fitness is such a great place to practice this lesson.

Doing a workout when you don't feel like it. Choosing the meal that will make you feel your best. Going to bed instead of staying up. Trying something difficult and realizing you're capable of more than you thought.

But this lesson extends far beyond the gym.

I want her to see us have the courage to try something we might fail at, do what we said we would do, have difficult conversations, and face things that scare us.

I want her to see us give our best effort, face our fears, keep our word to ourselves, and continue putting one foot in front of the other when things are hard.

I want her to learn that discomfort isn't always a sign that something is wrong.

Sometimes, it's a sign that we're growing.

The Messages We Make Normal at Home Matter

Ultimately, I don't want health to be another standard our daughter feels like she has to perfectly live up to.

I want it to be something that helps her live a bigger, fuller life.

Even though she isn't here yet, she continues to change the way I think about the woman I want to be.

I can't control every message she'll hear about food, exercise, or her body as she grows up. There will be influences outside of our home that I can't change.

But I can be intentional about the messages she hears from us.

I hope our home teaches her that her body isn't something she needs to spend her life trying to shrink, fix, or fight.

It's something worth nourishing, something worth strengthening, something worth caring for, and something worth being incredibly grateful for.

Whether you're raising a daughter, hope to one day, or are practicing this for yourself, I hope you believe the same about your body, too.

Maybe changing the way the next generation of girls views health doesn't start with what we eventually tell them.

Maybe it starts with what we choose to model for them today.

What do you hope the next generation of girls learns about health and strength? 🤍